OCT. 15, 2008
The reactions have been interesting. I immediately put out an e-mail with the article link because everyone was calling, knowing that my diagnosis was coming any minute. This is what I get for being a big mouth. Anyway- most have been awesome. Of course, I’ve got all my mom’s phoning in babysitting offers until the kids are out of college. I figure if Doug and I play it right- we could take off to Hawaii and no one would have to know any better… some are scared and emotional. Which is sweet- in theory. but- for the future; “What to do if your friend has cancer” advice;
Don’t make it about you. Deal with all your feelings, fears and stuff on your own then call your friend and be supportive, optimistic and brave. Process on your own- try not to have your cancerous, freaked out pal end up having to comfort you… just a thought.
But- mostly- people have been amazing and, because of my “hour of indulgence” right after “the phone call”- I feel okay. I’m probably in some hefty denial but I’ll take it. Whatever gets me through. Besides, moms don’t get a lot of time to ‘process their feelings.” If your kid’s about to jump off the deck rail or battling with a diaper fulla toxic crap- you can’t really pause to explore your emotions.
But the perfect answer was from my 2 best friends, Jenica and Joelene. After a day spent explaining, investigating and talking, we get the kids to bed and I sit at the computer. The phone rings at 8:30. “We’re on the 101 so it’s too far to turn us back. We’re coming over” says Jo, no stranger to overt bossiness.
So they did. With a dozen donuts and their twisted humor. We talked about “it” for about 10 minutes then were done with it. We then fell into reminiscing about past boyfriends (JESUS how did we ever escape our own choices??!!) and past adventures. We laughed until we cried, I spit water across the room, I contorted, I remembered and mostly… I forgot. I was transported and lifted. I wasn’t ‘special” in a bad way anymore I was just me- “The short one”, in our twisted group and it was perfect. There is a reason we’ve survived together for so long… it’s because they’re brilliant and remarkable and they’re mine…
Here’s to you- my bitches- you friggin’ rule.